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Student Ministries Pastor

Waco, Texas, United States

Date Posted: 07/17/2008
Categories: Youth Pastor
Church Size: 351 to 500
Job Type: Full-Time

Job Description:
HOPELESS ROMANTIC SEEKS THE SAME FOR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP. Do you like long walks on the beach by moonlight in a bikini and candlelight dinners at night? Are you missing any vital things like eyebrows because of the church cookout or a row of front teeth because “it seemed funny at the time”? Do you like the ballet, figure skating, and watching re-runs of Hannah Montana on Friday nights? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, stop reading immediately and go to the next ad. I’m sure God is calling you there! If you answered “no”, pick up a glass of Mountain Dew and read on.

Do you remember the song they sang on Sesame Street when you were growing up, "One of these kids is not like the other"? I guess you can tell by now, we’re THAT kid! I’m the senior pastor and I approved this ad! VLC is not your typical church. We Hate Religion and we’ve even put it on our electronic sign in front of our church where 100,000 cars pass by every day. We live by two simple creeds, mottos, or, as some might say, credos: 1) Love God; and 2) Love people. It really simplifies life as we are going on this journey as a Christ follower. You can read about as much as you need to know about us on our website: If you can’t read this or if you don’t have the Internet, then don’t respond to this ad.

So how do I begin to sell Waco to you? First of all, we’re known throughout the world for the David Koresh fiasco. I was in Amsterdam two months ago and saw a feature on Waco on TV…WE’RE FAMOUS! Let’s see: We’ve also recently been named one of the 10 worst places to raise a family in all of America. Finally, the gunfire in east Waco at night lights up the sky like a beautiful fireworks display. It’s just lovely. Few cities have the pedigree of Waco. (At least, the river’s never caught on fire here like it did in Cleveland though back in the 80’s.) Yeah, that’s where we are and can I tell you, “We love it and couldn’t imagine being anywhere else!”

So funny guy, why do you have an opening on your staff? Our current student ministries pastor is completing his 5th year of service with VLC and God is radically shifting the way he’s fulfilling his call as he’s becoming an officer so he can minister to inner-city people in Dallas. It’s really cool for him, but a bummer for us since I was his youth pastor through junior high and high school. (insert your own tears here) God is moving him on and this is why you’re reading this job posting.

If you haven’t been scared off by now, then consider the benefits of being at VLC where you’ll receive:
*An incredible working environment with hours of endless fun every day
*A big salary where you will never ever need to make money again (Disclaimer: Salary offer would only work in a 4th world nation)
*We’ve got the best health plan in all the world – our children’s pastor believes in divine healing and so no one ever gets sick here anymore. We’ve saved thousands of dollars in premiums as a result. (We actually do believe in divine healing)
*Very liberal vacation time, unless you’re a conservative
*An office with a view…of Aaron’s office – he’s our music guy and he likes to sing and play guitar REALLY LOUD throughout the week
*A pastor who served in students ministry for 18 years
*An area with an incredible youth demographic that is un-reached
*We’ve just redone our youth center and it really rocks…literally! We host a concert series called “Rock Without Reason” where 400-600 students come on various weekends to listen to bands who play rock music (although they sign a morals contract that they will not sing, say, or sell anything bad)
*The city of Hewitt (right next to Waco) was named the 44th best place in the US to live by Money Magazine. They were around 800 until I moved into town. Coincidence? I think not!
*Baylor University is here and it’s an amazing school with amazing tuition costs

In all seriousness, this is an incredible church and an incredible opportunity for someone! If you’ve stayed with me until the end then I know you’re a person who likes to finish things. As you can tell: You better love to laugh. Most importantly, however, you MUST love God passionately and have a desire to take a real Jesus to a hurting demographic of students! We’re not into games. We know: Life’s hard…so wear a helmet.

Are you the right person? If so, e-mail me your resume and we’ll contact you. Please don’t call as we have A LOT of stuff going on right now and we’re still praying about direction. We need a clear mind…and a can of Mountain Dew!

We are hopeless romantics who believe that we can impact our city, state, nation, and world with the love of Jesus and we’re looking for someone who wants a long-term relationship!